The Elephant and its relatives, the strangest family ever.

Elephants.
What a weirdass animal.
Look at that trunk and those tusks, there is nothing on Earth quite like it.
What else could possibly look this weird?
What if I told you that the elephant's relatives were even weirder?


Enter Deinotherium, the evil, saber tooth Aunt of the elephant.
This, like most evil Aunts is bigger than its relatives, this big bitch stood about 5m tall making it the 3rd largest land mammal to have ever been known to exist.
Deinotherium's massive reverse facing tusks were probably used for defense but ultimately lost the competition of survival to mammoths and mastodons.

Even as a skeleton, she has
 lipstick on her tusks

Deinotherium was of course Jewish

But wait, what's that I hear you say? They are just reversed tusks, nothing too out of the ordinary?
Meet Cousin Platybelodon, the oddball in the family with slight dental problems that we don't usually talk about.
As you may have noticed, Platybelodon looks like a normal elephant, except IT LIVES IN A SWAMP
Also, it has the mouth of a shovel. Just look at that bastard, he pulls the ladies like there is no tomorrow.
If you see a platybelodon at a club with his associated Belodons, first of all keep it away from your girlfriend and second of all freak out as you accidentally teleported back in time 15-4 million years ago when these chick magnets existed.

Platybelodon has a lot to smile about, he died long before the twilight movies came out.

And while we were talking about dentistry, we cant look past these 4 tusked badasses.
Gomphotherium enjoys long walks on the beach and while not destroying middle earth with barbed wire wrapped between its tusks, this bastard just revels in the fact that he has twice as many tusks as most other relatives. What a bastard.
Fun fact, it's name means "Welded Beast" in greek, due to the fact that they are good at working with metal.

Before he became a Forsworn Headress

Gomphotherium on its holiday to
New Zealand

So always remember, you may have a weird family, but the elephant has the weird ones, plus they can't possibly forget them. So laugh at their funny noses, elephants stand tall knowing they are not natures weirdest creations...